Choice.

[..the choice that came too late.]

Every day, every hour, sometimes -depending on who one is- every split-second, we are called upon making choices.

What to wear, what to eat, where to go for the night, what drink to have, change the radio station in the car or wait for the next song, watch a movie or an episode from that tv series. These are merely some of the many situations people will find themselves in, at least once, sooner or later in their lives. Especially if one has a broad range of movie genres that are deemed "ok to watch", many friends with suggestions for an outing, or just a big wardrobe.

Then there are life-or-death choices, with much greater impact -well, the very name of the category is a giveaway: life or death- which may be taken almost subconsciously (like running in a building up in flames, cause some is in there) or after serious thought and discussion (pulling the plug to a coma patient). These are the great choices, the big ones, the choices that define -or end- your life, or someone else's around you.

And yet, this are not the most important ones. For, many people may never even be asked to take such decisions, may never deal with such troubling.

Oh no. You see, the important ones, the heavy choices, are the ones you make day in & day out, but affect more than your appetite and appearance, your leisure and your time-off. These are the choices that affect yourself as a being, your mood, your aura, your very existence. These are choices that you may reach after just two seconds of thinking, implementing immediately, be certain of, and yet, moments later regret and question, reevaluate, and wonder "what if"?

Am I going to say hi or look the other way? Pick up the phone now or call back later? Tell her what I feel or give her (more) time? Be happy with what I have or seek to improve constantly (whether referring to a relationship, employment, car etc)? Should I speak my mind or just go along with it?

There is almost never a right answer to any of these questions. It is always relevant to the place, time, situation and people involved. Something that happened during the day, with the exact same protagonists, if it happened during the night, at the same place, it might have played out differently. And something that occurred between you and that blonde girl, may have been aeons away from being in the same situation with the brunette. It is, for the most part, impossible to establish a method of interpreting and evaluating choices like the ones above. But lets not consider the case close. There is one person that could shed some light into this. That person would require some intel, some brief background information on the situation, in order to assess it. 

That third person could very easily be, yourself! It's the most discreet and fast assessment you can have at any given time, any place, for any matter! (Don't get me wrong! I am not supporting being closed and not sharing your feelings! That should not even require a decision to share your feelings with the people you hold dear the most!)

Picture this, you are at the grocery store where you find yourself questioning, well, yourself, whether to say "hi" to "a girl that was in a class at my college 3 years ago, never really spoke", and all of a sudden, looking the other way seems reasonable, effortless and understandable. But. Have you never really talked to her? I know you remember her, even the way her name sounded when she gave it to you. "She may not even remember me!". Is that what you fear? Or is stumbling upon her in the grocery store where you just dropped in, wearing your sweatpants to pick something up and be on your way, making you feel uncomfortable? "Ok, but what am I going to talk about? I mean, yeah, we had the same classes and exams, 3 years ago! I have no idea what's up with her life now". Then chat her up, show your genuine interest in filling the gap you have of her whereabouts for all that time. Maybe a friendly face from the past, could stir her mind for a moment, from anything that's troubling her! "But she's at the store, maybe she's in a hurry, store's closing soon". Young man, we both know the store's not closing for another 4 hours. And she's in it. On a Saturday morning. No one in a hurry AND in their right mind, goes groceries shopping on a Saturday morning! "Ok ok fair enough. Hey, that guy standing next to her could be her boyfrie.." Nope, guy was just passing by! Besides, we said friendly hello! Dear Lord!! "Ok, let me get this last thing of the shelf here and go".

After this serious debate that lasted 3 seconds in my head, it all came down to me reaching for two green bags of salt and vinegar flavored crisps, grabbing my trolley and looking up only to see her back strolling down the frozen section, turning left and vanishing in the crowd. I was ashamed of myself. All my courage just dropped to the floor and crawled under the tuna stands. I felt colder than the freezers across the hall, and I swear, even the chicken nuggets in their little white bags were mocking me: "chicken!! haha!!" It was a small loss for myself and I, but an even bigger burden for me to carry, cause  of my stalling, which lead to this. The wrong choice. Or more correctly, the choice that came too late.

Regardless the silly example above, I truly understand that sometimes, making the right choice, matters only if you make it at the right time. Saying back "I love you" three weeks after you had someone declaring their love, means three weeks of awkwardness. Deciding to dress up as Santa and sing in the streets, will probably get you in the police station for alcohol-testing, if done mid-July. Each right decision needs some time and the right time. And right now, it is the time to choose to be happy. To broaden your smile and put on your optimistic lenses. To warm up even more to the people close to you, smile to the strangers that share the space around you, help someone who needs a hand, listen to someone who needs to speak.

And as for the big choices, the heavy ones, it usually is really easy: Just open your mind and heart, and look inside. That is where you'll find the answer. And if you don't, you'll find yourself. Cause that's where you cannot cheat or stall yourself. So open up!! Only do so as soon as possible. Before life takes you down the frozen section.

PS: I bought the chicken nuggets. I am going to mock them back, while I slowly cook them. Mieh mieh mieh